Leave the past, live in present…

Forget1

Image Source: www.letstalkrelations.com

. “Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”  ~Kahlil Gibran

Our first kiss, our first date and our first love are the reminiscences that have quite an everlasting effect on ourselves. We might forget our greatest grief but it becomes very intricate to forget those moments which we had once cultivated from the threads of feelings and trust. What happens once when the equation fades, the thread ruptures and the person who was everything goes away from our life. What do we do then? Do we drown ourselves in self pity or try to come out by my moving forward.

Stalking his Facebook status, walking past through his home, waiting long near your ex office and call him from unknown numbers will do no good. Although it is difficult but it is better to forget about something that has been tarnished rather than trying to give it a shot every now and then.  Life doesn’t stop with one failed relationship but goes on. So, we need to accept the future with open arms and try to live each day blissfully like they say, out of the heart of the darkness comes the morning light.

Indulge with your buddies, pamper yourself, get a make -over or perhaps do what you feel the best. The idea is to get over the past to enjoy and live in the present. Not to cry for a lost relationship and the love of your ex but celebrate life as it comes!

You still cherish the gift he gave you on the first date? No matter how beautiful it may be, it is now worthless because as soon as your eyes go on it, you sink once again in the memory lane. False hope will only ruin and never heal you. Love letters, sovereigns or anything related to him will only remind you of your failed relationship. Trash it, dump it or throw it, but never try to hold it.

Often you and your ex may have common friends and acquaintances, avoid asking them about him and till the time you are completely over him, avoid connections or meeting with the common acquaintances. Stop putting his name in the Facebook search box to check what’s happening with him. The new girl in his pictures will only make your head spin. Unfriend him, stop peeping into his life and by any means do not let it become an obsession.

One of the essential part of loving is to let him go, so delete his number, stop chasing him or visiting his folks. Do whatever it takes to stay busy and get away from all that sick feeling of loneliness and seclusion. Remember, love is just part of a life and not life. Besides, the absence of your ex who has no significance in your present should not become a constraint of your future.

Close the chapter, let it go and get back to your road to happiness. Life is beautiful and is eagerly waiting for you, are you ready to start yet again?

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41 Comments

  1. I agree with you close to cent percent although my explanations may be a little different. Yes! If we see our ex has moved on comfortably its worthless thinking about the whole thing.Easier said than done. You have given all the practical tips and tricks which are so appropriate. Whatever and whoever brings you close to his / her memory should be suspended . Occasionally peeping into his/her FB rather helps . If he/she has moved on you will get the message . If not you will know . Cry out Loud alone and infront of people who care for you..and you know they will not sit giving you gyan … Love is an imaginary virus which dies with time and with loads of shedding out of loud tears … cry like a mad .. but alone when you see him/her clicking pics with another partner. Blame your God , fight with Him / Her /Them for getting you into mess and order Him/Her/Them to get you out at the earliest and unhurt.
    Now let go !! Let go because you need to do so.. You may not forget the guy/girl but this way at least you will not hate him/her after break up and would respect his/her identity and decisions (no matter how big a flirt he/she was) and most importantly you will never repent your decision … to hang around with him/her , to have spent cozy moments and he/she being the first person you did so with..
    At the end .. why making fool out of yourself by regretting on decisions which you dont take .. though it looks like . Its God /Fate /Nature whatever you may call it. We need not regret for anything in life. All is destiny. Yes that does not mean we start chatting with other guy/girl just to show even we have moved on. It would be like hit by Rhino .. heading towards an Elephant. I know many women .. who get into hasty relationships just to avoid regrets of loss …. and men becoming Devdas!

    If you love .. do not expect others to do the same .. while they have all the rights to fool you .. but its your duty not to fool anyone..to become an emotional fool is human .. shows you are a good soul.. and to forgive and never regret is thanking the person and God for those awesome moments which you may cherish as long as you want and dump it at your will and not as repentment or as sin by mistake !

    I guess got too carried away !! Ended up writing a long comment 🙂 ! I recall my college days .. when people would contact me to say few words to any heart-broken friend ! 🙂 Mostly it worked ..and the toughest client to convince was myself ! 😀

    1. Was busy reading your comment…It is almost a small post.. :)…I am glad I have a reader like you who take immense care in reading out every word from start till finish and then pointing out your views and opinion…The long comment only makes me glad ….I am more then happy to find a blogger friend and reader like you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

      1. smiles ..
        felt a little embarrassed when i saw the size of the comment !! 🙂
        thank u Deepti for writing this post .. Why ?
        this is a very big disease worldwide and India being the most affected … guilt unwanted .. just coz of the word called love .. which is then abused .. love is serene .. its God .. its ..sacred .. forgiving … bliss and surely its MOVE ON …
        we do not die when our beloved elders of family leave their bodies ..its almost a similar thing .. u may recall and remember but move on as well ! no remorse !!
        again this exceeding . hahahaha ! Hold on Jack enough !! 🙂

      2. I am glad I make you write such huge comments…Maybe my post triggers you 🙂 And yea, you are right when you say it is a disease and I would say communicable disease..hehe

  2. Absolutely right. It’s important to forget a whole lot of things in order to get on with life. And that’s how life is! (Or should be, as you say).

    1. No never..neither should you because it would be again a new story with old remorse..TUMNE AISA KIA THa, I know you can never change, You treated me like this etc etc etc…It is always better to start fresh than going back with pain and agony, don’t forget frustration too…Besides, there are many fish in the ponds then why concentrate on the one who isn’t meant for you

      1. I had a friend, A girl, who was reserved towards people and didnt let them close. But falls in love with a guy who drifts a lot. He cheated her for the first time and was forgiven but again he did for the 2nd time. The girl has moved on and treats him as his friend but doesnt want to get back to him again. On the guys side, he has been facing a hell a lot of failures and is completely broken and had something like spiritual awakening and feels ”guilty” for his shameless behavior and wants to get back to her at any cost. He talked to her mother too. Her mother and all family members want her to get married to him, unknown of his cheating.. So my point here is, the guy has realized his mistakes and feels guilty and is repenting and whereas the girl has not fallen in love with any other guy. I am not supporting him just because I am guy, I advised her that , on humanitarian grounds, you know him much better than any one else, so if you really think that he has changed completely and is accepting you, I think you should go for it. May be, it would take lot of time but if his decision is still intact, you should go for him. Because I think, after breakup and estrangement the relation would be much much stronger. its my opinion.

      2. She forgives him that would be humanity but humanity doesn’t mean she has to love him and get married to him…Marrying him would be hell lot of nautankis…Why should she take chance and seriously allowing a new person to come in her life would be better…According to me, forgiving him and forgetting him would be the ideal choice….The family should be aware of his cheatings else she would be in a holy mess..Just imagine if she marries and god forbid there is a problem and then the parents get to know, they will blame her from hiding the truth….

      3. yes friend, i agree with you, but here I am talking about a ”changed” person. I could see repentance and feeling of guilt in his eyes. With a new person, the problem would be, hard to adjust , he may be or may not be good. 50-50 chance.(in case of arranged marriages). So, I feel someone whom she knew and has changed completely would be a better choice then jumping in for unknown, keeping in mind she has not committed to anyone. Well lets see, thanks for your post and valid points, I would surely share this discussion with my friend and show your post too.

      4. My pleasure if my article helps your friend 🙂 Regarding the new person, my view is you do not stop living or trying new things just coz there is risk involved. Even going with this guy involves risk and the risk is 100%..However, if you think that he is a changed man now, try judging him (although I never judge people but here it seems is necessary) AND IF YOUR FRIEND IS READY TO ACCEPT HIM WHOLE-HEARTEDLY that is without ifs and buts, then I think it can work out..All the best, let her take her decision calmly…

    1. That is harsh Jitendra, you do not have to live alone…Love exist..we might have had our displeasures in love but it exists and it is indeed beautiful…My definition of love doesn’t end in marriage although…

  3. All loves in this world are conditioned. There is always some desire attached to it. Trust is a word that cannot be trusted with. No one can be trusted since everyone breaks the trust. I am not being cynical here but the truth is bitter. Every created object in this world is perishable hence I said the above. First learn to love your self and try to keep your word then you will understand these words. Thanks.

  4. Love transform over time. Faw memories are kept bottled inside us.Love of life is not the person you end up with. Love of life is who motivate u to reach your goal.Any way liked ur thoughts very much.

  5. It’s true that one should move ahead and delete permanently his/her belongings.. Its easy to say rather tough to do.. It’s always tough to delete from one’s mind and heart now and then. I think one can only move on, if one finds his love again, thereby it won’t make you go back. One needs to get engaged in work / personal interests etc. Thereby which we can overcome the past. Changes should be accepted has it comes and changes do bring lot of changes in one’s life. Changes are often good / bad.. Wherein we always never accept the bad ones. I suppose one should think that no matter she(ur loved one) has gone away far from me.. Life never ends here.. We should move on and always take it has a learning.. and who knows.. a better girl will be waiting for me ahead.. ;).. nice blog deepti…!!

    1. Changes really should be accepted and more than that you should allow change to happen. If you do not allow you’ll be stuck…For you Shiv, surely a better girl is waiting :p…And thanks for dropping by….Also, gratitude for the appreciation 😀

      1. Ha Ha ha… well every friend of mine does says the same thing.. “that better girl is waiting for u”… and every time I giggle and move on… 🙂

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