On my way back from Bangalore to Mumbai (Oh ya, I’m back btw J) I had a privilege of travelling with the special lot of our society – The lot who calculates everything in terms of money. No, they are neither merchandisers nor your local baniyas but a bunch of women who have a tendency of talking money all the time. Yea, they will never let any moment go in haste without showing you how they have paid for every single thing. Besides, they will make you realize in intervals about the same. Not a single second passes when you won’t be made to think about the money they pay for each and every service.
10 pm was the time when I boarded the bus from Madiwala, the starting point after waving goodbye to my beloved friends and in an hour the bus was at the final stop in Bangalore to fetch all the passengers at the Anandrao Circle. Already missing Bangalore, I was busy recollecting the moments when suddenly a lady in her early forties bumped into me and my thoughts.
“Hello Miss, you are sitting on seat no. 1” she said arrogantly
I said yes, wondering why she has objections. Although my seat was already confirmed by the conductor even then I checked my printout and phone – Yes it reflected seat no. 1.
I soon went into my thoughts of the three amazing days, when all of a sudden I heard the commotion. The lady was fighting with the Bus Service people.
“Kaisi service hai aap logo ki. Hamari seat par koi ladki aaram se baithi hai..Humne paise diye hain aap log aisa kaise kar sakte hain.”
“Madam please relax hum dekhta” was the only thing the service guy from the bus stand could tell the howling lady who was ready to bump me with her fiery eyes and extra large body. 1 slap and I could sink in the seat.
“Jaldi dekho, who ladki toh mast baithi hai aaramse”said the lady ready to steal my comfort level and giving me that Lalita Pawar looks.
The conductor came in and asked for Deepti Verma and I shook my head, he then asked the lady for her name. The conductor then couldn’t stop his laughter but scared of the lady’s reaction he politely told her that her seat was “A1 AND NOT 1”
Now Seat A1, A2 was behind the driver whereas 1 and 2 was the opposite seat.
Realizing her mistake the lady gave me that “Oh bade-bade desho mai aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain” types look.” And I was even scared to give her “it’s okay” look”
Next day early morning at 6 am I woke up with the lady’s cry “When will this bus, stop. Bloody I have paid the amount..”
“Oye conductor, ye bus kab rukega?” she howled again pulling the curtain roughly.
“Madam Kolhapur ke baad, 7-7.30 baje”
“Aare tumlog sirf aadmi ka hi sochte ho jaara aurat logo ka bhi socho aur jaldi roko” She grinned not forgetting to mention her favorite line – “Hum bhi paise dete hain sirf aadmi log nahi”
At around 6.30 the female again jumped off her seat, looking at me angrily and warning the conductor that if they wouldn’t stop she could complain their main office and make sure they are fired for not stopping the bus. The driver and conductor requested her not to create a scene as the bus was almost reaching Kolhapur and soon they would stop that is within half an hour.
“My stomach is paining very badly, I need to urinate you bastards, better stop the bus or I will complain…I have paid the money and you can’t do this to me…You understand…I do not understand what the other ladies are made up of in this bus,,,,” she said looking at me.
There was no place where the driver could stop for the lady. However, what I thought that if the lady had requested the driver rather than cursing him or giving him dhamkis, he probably would made some arrangements for her to feel okay. But she continued to curse the driver and conducter for around 7.15 am till the bus was stopped at a good place for her to finally relax.
It was afternoon and we had crossed Pune only to reach New Mumbai, my destination in two hours but the bus stopped near Lonavala so that people could eat something as the last stop was another 5 hours. Now in Pune the sit next to me was occupied by a girl.
“Please evacuate the bus” the security guard at the petrol pump accompanied by a nice food court announced standing at the door of our Volvo.
The girl next to me protested that she did not want to get out. I was delighted that someone said precisely what I wanted to. However, the security guard requested her to get off since it would be a problem if anything goes missing she would be blamed.
The girl without letting the security guard complete his sentence shouted “Humne bhi paise diye hain”
I had no clue wherein the question of money popped in right here in this conversation. Although the girl appeared sophisticated while boarding the bus but by the way she went with her “paisa” and stuff, she only appeared moron not only to me but even the poor security guard who tried to request her.
While everyone boarded the bus and the conductor switched on the TV with Dabaang 2 another lady complained that she had already watched the film zillion times and had not given the money to watch the movie all over again in this bloody bus.
An hour later, I was at home still having the taste of the delicious vada-pav I had at the food court along with the amazing tale of “humne bhi paise diye hain” by my so called sophisticated female travelers and the plight of the poor bus conductor and driver of a very good bus travels.