It wasn’t me, then who was at fault?

The girlfriend pointing at the boyfriend, the boyfriend blaming the girlfriend. The wifey bombarding on the hubby and the hubby retracting it on her. Who is at fault? We probably do not know.  Let’s find out…

How many times have you heard the prominent phrase,” it’s your fault and not mine?” Many a times, right? No matter whoever utters it, the recipient is generally aggravated by the allusion that they have made some mistake. It appears as if no one wants to be labelled by a fickle finger blaming them and charging them for something or the other.

A very common trait observed in humans, it seems that everyone hates to be in the situation of fault. However, the same person would leave no stones unturned to blame the opposite person. And relationship between a man and a woman, husband and wife, a girl and a boy is no different.

Why does it happen? Well, mainly because in a relationship often a person may find it thorny to say they made a blunder, did something they were not supposed to do or didn’t do something they were supposed to do. So what they usually do as an alternative? Well, to make it appear simple and very straightforward, they  simply remove their hand, point that index finger at their spouse and articulate, “It wasn’t me, it was you!”

Why is it hard for people in a relationship to admit the truth that they may be liable in a situation that has an ill-fated upshot? Maybe it has something in relation to the other sport that is played by several people. Accepting charge is accepting the reality that they are not faultless. It is so awful that  although they know they are not just right in every way, but still they don’t want people to discern that actually.

The sport of  Blame and the I’m faultless Game are sport that end up without any winners. It basically isn’t worth the time it takes to fool around by playing these blame games. On the contrary, it is so much healthier to engage yourself in the Integrity Game and to take the blame by saying you are at fault. It is always better and sensible to own up to limitation and imperfection. Flawlessness and perfectness are really dull and overestimated. To be honest, it is in fact unachievable.

Apprehension  is yet another aspect that comes into picture for those who play the sport of retribution, repercussions, fear of consequence, embarrassment,  blame game and payback.

Lastly, the most vital question to raise for yourself  if you are playing the Blame Game is, does it actually matter who is correct and who is incorrect in any given circumstances in any relationship. Does pointing your fingers on others can ever perk up a relationship? Of course not; in fact, it will increase more and more problem than solving the last few.

Well, conceivably taking the elevated road and opting integrity is a better alternative than playing the Blame Game, isn’t it?

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  1. What is think is instead of pointing fingers and playing the Blame Game..It is better to sit down and have a discussions,if we really want our relationship to be healthy.. 🙂

  2. That is so true Deepti. I always feel the notion of right and wrong is very subjective. What might look completely wrong to me, may be right in someone else’s fight
    What people dont realize is that fights are not worth spoiling our relationships

  3. True ….Now-a-days people are so intolerant that they forget with whom they are fighting, Blame game is a natural in many cases, but in any relationship one has to be understanding, one has to be calm, one has to be tolerant, if one side possesses all this qualities and other doesn’t, fight can not be extended, and it has to be extinguished. Let other person self realized his/her mistakes by sitting calm.

    1. True Pritesh, relationship is very fragile, one wrong sentence and it can create havoc…You are right in saying that one has to take the onus in order to calm the situation..Thanks for sharing your thoughts here 🙂

  4. Being in a relationship since last 10 years, I can safely say blame game often is an ice-breaker and at times a form of amusement. For a good healthy relationship you need to talk take out your frustration. Blame game often helps you to do that. Cheers.

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